Engrish - イングリシ

This is one of my favorite subjects of study here in Japan. Some of the choicest specimens of Engrish come from T-shirts, notebooks (notebooks particularly marketing toward Japanese students studying English), food, junior high students' poetry/test answer sheets, and the Japanese English teachers. The following is my latest compilation of finds. All typed examples are displayed exactly as seen printed. Please to enjoy.

Category One: T-Shirts

Brandy
No name girl
BANG
The seed grows
I have control
CAUTION
BETTER
The seed grows on the light brown before long.
The people, I will plow it together.
The seed grows on the light brown before.



SHIFT
the
***GLOBE***
Since it was early in the morning the
air was refreshingly pleasantly cool.
FEEL RELIEVED
MAKE A ROUND THE WORLD TRIP
Blessing of Mother Earth
MAY THE BLESSING OF
GOD BE UPON
YOU



POP
IDOL
IS
DEAD
BOREDOM AND NOT REAL

Category Two: Notebooks

MAGICAL CAT
I wAnt tHE CATFOODs
PLeASe PLeASe PLEASE




This note book has been differently
made up to each subject.
We would hope that your marks will improve




CUTE
ROCK
I feel refreshed
at this moment.
I've never experienced such a feeling!
Now, I feel very
comfortable




Look! That man is delighted.
Deep impression will enrich our
mind. The dish as the perfect
degree of tastiness. Today we'll
serve special deliciousness to you.
All kinds of tastes are loaded. These
dishes are made by hand completely.
-
TODAY'S
GOOD NEWS
New life begins from today.
Being surrounded by my fa-
vorites... My dream that has
begun to move. Let's produce
an elegant dining table. Soft
light makes foods delicious.
The table today is fully loaded
with every kind of taste.
Ever deepening taste of my
household dishes. I've come to
know true joy. I now live nicely.
Ah! An actual sense.



Lovely dessert forest
Let's go out in a dreamy mood.
All are glittering, aren't they?



I could have one hope.

Category Three: Food

My gum is blacker than your gum. I call it "black black."

This coffee is the boss.
It's also rainbow mountain blend.




Come on.
You know you want some CREAP in your coffee.

(Apparently creamy+powder=creap)




Enjoy the bright and refreshing taste.




New! Crunky slim packs!

Category Four: Student Writing

PART ONE: TEST ANSWERS
Sadly, some of these make sense.
(present) (past) (participle)

speak spork sporken
spend spoot spoot
take toke taken
teach trought trought

The correct words in parentheses
(Fun misspellings)

smire (smile)
figer (finger)
high king (hiking)
"Please tell me the way to the pork." (park)
"I wasn't bappy." (happy)
e-meal (e-mail)
T-shat
T-shart
brack (black)
"Do you like mush?" (math)

PART TWO: POETRY
These are actually quite brilliant.

English
It Subject
difficult, difficult, difficult
I can't speak English
good.


Game shop
It fun
I want games but
I don't have money
Sad


Sky
Like sea
Wrap of all
Very big and gentle
Warm

Category Five: Japanese English Teachers

(As was written on the back of the students' summer homework)

Here you are!
You did the good job!!
I'm very glad to see your hard work.
This is something to give you!!

(Excellent example of the the difference between transitive and intransitive verbs: when I was asked to hand papers to the students)
Vs.1: "Can you help me to pass out?"
Vs.2: "I'm in a hurry because we have to pass out."


I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS EPISODE OF...
ENGRISH FROM VERY FAR AWAY...